8th Sep

A few weeks ago I never would of believed that I could actually be ready for this baby to arrive. There was so much to do and on top of that I didn't feel like I was in the right head space or emotional space to be ready.
But here we are on the due date and I actually, finally feel ready..and waiting.
The stress of the last few months is fading away.
I don't really like the feeling of waiting I'd rather be busy doing something and then..'oh what's this? I think I'm in labour!' But maybe there is a natural readiness that is important and the waiting around gets you so desperate and bored that you just want to get on with it.
Over the weekend Joseph was great, he gave me hours of time to myself to prepare the house and wrap up the final details..like packing the hospital bag and getting the car seat washed and ready.
There is never a lack of things to do around here but none of it is urgent now and this photo of an empty clean car seat pretty much sums up how we're feeling at the moment.
Joseph calls several times a day asking if everything is ok (he's so itching for things to get going as well as start his two week parental leave) he leaves me numbers for every house and place he visits 'just in case'.
So we're finally at that tedious place of kicking our heels and wondering if the whole baby thing is a hoax and it's never really going to happen?
Time will tell if it is a hoax but last night I did get a horrible 'I've changed my mind' moment when I thought about the birth and decided that I really didn't want to go through with it after all....but what can one do? There's no way back now!